Holiday Giveaway!
Hey all of my Weavalina's, Wiggalina's , Everybody in between and of course my Gaybies.....
I am running a contest on my YouTube channel! Fly yourself on over to it and enter!
Originally, I was only going to run it for a week. However, there was a problem with people leaving comments so just to be fair it will run until 11:45 pm eastern standard time Dec 21, 2014. I will announce the winner Via my blog! You got it! Right here!!!! I want to make sure this gets to the winner by New Years Eve in case the winner wants a fab new do for the party <3 b="">
Rules:
1.You Must be subscribed to my YouTube channel
2. You must leave in the comments under the video 1 thing you like about your outer self! That's right! Look in the mirror and find something about your outer shell that you like and tell me about it.
3. Mean what you say!
I want to spread self love around to my returning and new YouTube Family Members. There is too much self loathing rather than self loving going around the world! So if it's your ears, butts, hands, hair, face, etc tell me about it. I don't care what it is as long as you truly love something about your outer beauty!!!!!! Merry Christmas Everyone! Much love, Dani
Just hit this link and enter! It's completely free........ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1_Qm8X8QLA&list=UU1zE2UOWQCLUpgr-jQLOAtw
Monday, December 15, 2014
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Facebook! The Addiction!
Go Like These Pages!!!!
https://www.facebook.com/browse/admined_pages/?id=1043905619#!/DanielleNelsonAguirre
https://www.facebook.com/MakeUpItMatters
Recently I made the decision to get rid of my personal Facebook profile. Why? Because, I just couldn't handle all the mentally crazed, immature, ungrateful, shouldn't be a parent, trashy TMI'ers!
I know, I know, you are going to or already are, saying..."Why don't you just delete them or hide them"? Been there, done that! When you hide people and you have a smart phone, the smart phone isn't so brilliant. It hides them on the PC version but not on your phone. Well, you can't see their banter when you click on the app, but your phone still blows up with their notifications. I have tried turning notifications off on my phone but to no avail have I been successful. So with that said, I decided to just convert my personal profile to my page.
Now, in doing so, I have the luxury of not having to read any one's nonsense! In order for me to see it I have to click on the person's name that I care enough to find out what's new with them. I no longer have an annoying and aggravated feeling. I found myself day to day becoming very irritated after reading my news feed. Let's be real folks...The news feed is like a train wreck, you know you should look away but just can't! I tried so many times to convince myself that what I was reading should allow me to pat myself on the back. Ha! Not even! It just pissed me off even more because I was unable to "comment" what I really thought! I mean, it's completely inappropriate to start a confrontation on a social network right? That only makes me look as if I am stooping to their level, correct? It is just beyond me how people think it's even remotely OK to post the things they do. That's who they are I suppose and who I am doesn't really fit into that part of the social network world. So, bottom line.....Facebook is no longer my addiction.
A note to everyone who were a part of my personal profile.....
Dear Ex and current Facebook pals,
To my dear friends and family,
I hope you all would know me well enough to know, that, my leaving the personal profile world had nothing to do with you. I enjoyed reading your posts and interacting with you all. I am very sorry if any of you were made to feel like you had done something to push me to making this choice. Please know, it was not you. I love you all and hope that you will stop by my page from time to time to say hello and maybe let me know about any big announcements in your life. I am unable to comment on your personal pages because having just a "Like" page has very limited settings, but, please know, I am always checking on you guys and will miss the regular coffee and catching up<3
To the idiots that make Facebook unbearable,
I just want to thank you for making the rest of us feel sane and well rounded even when we are down on ourselves. I will enjoy the piece of mind I will bask in knowing I never have to read your silliness again! I can only hope that one day you will come to your senses and realize how ridiculous and insane you portray yourselves to be to the public! The only advice I have to give you is to possibly look into a shrink. One more thing.....If you don't want people telling you how it is then don't post it. You guys really look especially stupid when you post your business and then tell people it's none of their business...FYI morons...You just made it millions business!
Dani
As always...Sending sanity and freedom from the morons in your day..from my clean space in the cyber world to yours...Much Love,Dani
https://www.facebook.com/browse/admined_pages/?id=1043905619#!/DanielleNelsonAguirre
https://www.facebook.com/MakeUpItMatters
Recently I made the decision to get rid of my personal Facebook profile. Why? Because, I just couldn't handle all the mentally crazed, immature, ungrateful, shouldn't be a parent, trashy TMI'ers!
I know, I know, you are going to or already are, saying..."Why don't you just delete them or hide them"? Been there, done that! When you hide people and you have a smart phone, the smart phone isn't so brilliant. It hides them on the PC version but not on your phone. Well, you can't see their banter when you click on the app, but your phone still blows up with their notifications. I have tried turning notifications off on my phone but to no avail have I been successful. So with that said, I decided to just convert my personal profile to my page.
Now, in doing so, I have the luxury of not having to read any one's nonsense! In order for me to see it I have to click on the person's name that I care enough to find out what's new with them. I no longer have an annoying and aggravated feeling. I found myself day to day becoming very irritated after reading my news feed. Let's be real folks...The news feed is like a train wreck, you know you should look away but just can't! I tried so many times to convince myself that what I was reading should allow me to pat myself on the back. Ha! Not even! It just pissed me off even more because I was unable to "comment" what I really thought! I mean, it's completely inappropriate to start a confrontation on a social network right? That only makes me look as if I am stooping to their level, correct? It is just beyond me how people think it's even remotely OK to post the things they do. That's who they are I suppose and who I am doesn't really fit into that part of the social network world. So, bottom line.....Facebook is no longer my addiction.
A note to everyone who were a part of my personal profile.....
Dear Ex and current Facebook pals,
To my dear friends and family,
I hope you all would know me well enough to know, that, my leaving the personal profile world had nothing to do with you. I enjoyed reading your posts and interacting with you all. I am very sorry if any of you were made to feel like you had done something to push me to making this choice. Please know, it was not you. I love you all and hope that you will stop by my page from time to time to say hello and maybe let me know about any big announcements in your life. I am unable to comment on your personal pages because having just a "Like" page has very limited settings, but, please know, I am always checking on you guys and will miss the regular coffee and catching up<3
To the idiots that make Facebook unbearable,
I just want to thank you for making the rest of us feel sane and well rounded even when we are down on ourselves. I will enjoy the piece of mind I will bask in knowing I never have to read your silliness again! I can only hope that one day you will come to your senses and realize how ridiculous and insane you portray yourselves to be to the public! The only advice I have to give you is to possibly look into a shrink. One more thing.....If you don't want people telling you how it is then don't post it. You guys really look especially stupid when you post your business and then tell people it's none of their business...FYI morons...You just made it millions business!
Dani
As always...Sending sanity and freedom from the morons in your day..from my clean space in the cyber world to yours...Much Love,Dani
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Making Your Fashion Your Own! Cheap!
So we all like to keep up with the latest and greatest fashion trends. Now I am one of those people, however, I like to put my own twist on things to make them my own. I have and always will be that "Molly Ringwald" type from the move "Pretty In Pink". Since I can remember, I have always been a thrift shopper. Sure I own some high ticket items but I find I love thrift store shopping the best. There are so many wonderful creative ways you can throw together a fantastic outfit on the cheap. In fact I have found some high end designer items at thrift stores. Anything from Yves Saint Laurent to Versace to True Religion! In fact not too long ago I found this fantastic Nanette Lepore blazer brand new for $4. The jackets original price? almost $400! Crazy huh? I love calling this "sort" of shopping... Vintage. They call it that in L.A and NYC so why not everywhere else too?
Jeans:
If you look in my closet you will find a ton of jeans!! Some think I am completely crazy when they walk into my closet. But, my thoughts are, in a great pair a jeans a girl can conquer and command attention! Besides, really? What doesn't go great with jeans? I love to wear off the shoulder shirts and fab tank tops with a great blazer, some slamming heels and some great earrings and bracelets.... Do your hair with some great makeup and BAM! POW! You look like a million bucks!
Tops:
As mentioned above, I love off the shoulder tops. You know like in the 80's? I'm an 80's child so this style never really left the closet! What most people do not realize is that you can make these tops yourself really cheap! So many times I have walked into stores and seen these tops at a extremely silly price. You could have 8 of those tops for the price of 1 if you go do a little vintage shopping and get yourself a great pair of scissors! Go into your local "Vintage Shop" and look through their t-shirts and sweatshirts. Pick out the ones that you seem to connect with. May it be plain or fun graphics. Then bring them home lay them flat and start to cut a few inches below the original collar line from shoulder to shoulder. Presto! Off the shoulder it goes! Super cute and super cheap and you made it your own! Bonus.. The more you wash them the more character they take on. These types of tops look fantastic with a long necklace and hoop earrings. They even dress up sweatpants.
50's Pin Up
This is probably the most timeless, inexpensive easy sexy, sassy look a girl can have in her closet! Everyone knows thrift stores always have a plethora of fun "vintage" clothing dated way beck to the 50's. What you do is grab yourself a cute form fitting button down short sleeve top. Something solid or with fun polka dots. Or, find a pencil skirt or a dress looking very 50's. For hair? Super simple! Most gals think 50's hair is complicated! Nope! Not at all! For long hair leave some bang out and swoop the rest into a ponytail. Now add some soft curls to the ponytail. Now either swoop your bangs to one side or get a 1/2 inch barrel curling iron and curl them under. Add a cute bow or flower to the side and BAM! 50's hair! Now for short hair. Wear it on the flat side or a bump at the crown. Add a headband or flower or bow! There you are! Instant vintage. Makeup. Super simple. DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED! All you need is a matte finish foundation, Matte Finishing Powder, a good red lipstick (Can use a fun hot pink too) an excellent rich black liner, nude eyeshadow and a med matte brown eyeshadow and some great fake lashes! The key to great pin up makeup is all in the lip and winged eyeliner. There are lots of videos on Youtube giving you the skinny on how to.You can never go wrong with pin up in my opinion. It's fast easy makeup and you look stellar. Not to mention, that red lip makes you feel very sexy and all vixen like.
ME Pin Up look BEFORE all MY WEIGHT LOSS
I hope these few quick tips encourage you to save a dollar or 50 and you head out to your local "Vintage Shop" and set out on a fashion adventure. You really can change up your wardrobe considerably if you just give a few different looks a try!
Here's off the shoulder 80's Flashdance young and fun to 50's sexy, sophisticated, grown up pin up..from my closet to yours! Much love Dani...Happy Shopping<3
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
50 Shades Of Yum Yum (Mature Content)
Who has been reading "Fiftty Shades Of Grey"? I know this girl has! Even though it is a steamy love story about a straight couple I have been completely enamored by it. I cannot tell you what this story has done to open the inner sex goddess within me. I am so much more open to acting on my fantasies then ever before. I used to completely be the "vanilla" type in the bedroom, but, not anymore.
I have seen so many positive and negative reviews and talk of this book. However, I cannot help to think that those who have bad things to say are just still in that "embarassed" place. You know the place where in your mind you fear if you say what you really want sexually you're a "freak"? This is so very sad to me. If you just allow yourself to open yourself up completely, it can be so freeing. It can also make a happy marriage or relationship over the top happy. Sex is not meant to be embarrassing. It's meant to be an intimate, emotional roller coaster of incredible feelings both physical and emotional. I know there are a few people that will find this blog repulsive, and that's fine. This is intended for those who want to experience something higher than "vanilla". This book really does help a woman to find her inner beauty and sexy. It can awaken things deep in a womans soul that she may have never really knew exsisted because it was shoved so very deep down inside. Reading this book, I felt I had been a pressure cooker of sexy all this time, that never quite boiled enough to blow the lid clean off it!! After reading this, boy did my lid ever blow. POW! Flew right out the window......
Dom/Submissive Roll playing:
To most people this probably seems a bit brutal and quite frankly, border abusive. This couldn't be any further from the truth. It's all in what you like, what turns you on. How many of us women have just longed for the spontaneity of our partner to just take complete control. Wanted really hot carnal sex? It's part of a woman's psyche like it or not. There is something sexy in feeling like the most desirable woman of your time when your partner just ravishes you. This is how Dom/Sub can work. It can be extremely kinky or a little kinky. Being tied up and blind folded can be both nerve racking and very exciting. The nerve racking part is because you are putting complete trust in your partner to care of you and recognize your sounds. Meaning, a moan of pain or utter euphoria. The exciting part is all of those wonderful butterflies fluttering around in your stomach and the heat and need to be touched coursing through your body. The anticipation of your lady parts being filled with mind blowing pleasure! You feel incredibly sexy and so very desirable.
Spanking:
Now I used to really find this a bit embarrassing to delve in. Honestly, I tried it and now I LOVE IT! It is nothing to be embarrassed about. If it is done right it can be very stimulating. There are many variations of spanking. The garden variety type as in with your partners hand or with a device of some sort. I enjoy the garden variety type as well as a flogger. I know, I know, some of you ladies are thinking...A freaking flogger? Is she nuts? NO! Not at all. If it is used properly there are so many fun ways to be spanked with this. My personal flogger has feathers at one end and soft leather strands at the other. Both are delightful for teasing. Lead your partner, talk to he/she let them know what you like and dislike. This opens you up to being more verbal about your needs. Just go with it. I promise you will be pleasantly surprised!
Roll Playing:
Try this before the big meeting in the bedroom. Set up a night where you and your partner decide on a place to meet. Now this can be a hotel, bar or club. Dress in your sexiest attire and go from there. It feels naughty and is very sexy. My personal favorite, is when my wife meets me at a local martini bar and engages me in conversation as if I caught her eye sitting at the bar. The conversation is often very stimulating. It starts very slow than usually grows. We talk about everything, except our real lives. Anything from politics, our hopes and dreams and usually ends up becoming very sexy. Well, I'm sure you can all guess what comes after that. Try this. It really can renew each others physical attraction in each other.
This Post:
Before reading Fifty Shades Of Grey I would have never wrote a blog like this. I would have found it to be entirely too embarrassing. This book truly has helped me a great deal. I no longer view sharing something so intimate with my wife ,taboo or off limits in fear of her judging me. Sex should be fun, satisfying and sexy. NEVER embarrassing or shameful. If you have not read this book you really should. The series is a whopping $30 of sex therapy. It sure beats paying thousands on divorce or a lifetime of never opening up to your inner goddess. I really believe that beauty is not only an outside thing it's an inner thing too. If you find your inner sexy you will see yourself in a whole new light. So reach down inside and pull her out...She'll change your life.
Here's to floggers, handcuffs, blindfolds, roll playing, to your Christian or Anna from my inner Sex Goddess to yours...Much Love Dani
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Are Your Mean Words Worth Someone's Life?
Join Me On My Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/MakeUpItMatters
Please Check This site out For Erin: http://www.twloha.com/index.php
Our community and school district are having to face the very real cold hard fact that bullying is real and it kills. On Tuesday, May 15, 2012 a 17 year old girls body was found lifeless, alone in the woods near our local community college. She had chose to take her life because of the unbearable pain of bullying. I am dedicating today's blog to this young lady and all of those who feel like they are only seen as less than zero and feel stifled by the cruelness that surrounds them. This is for you Erin Foley and all that are with you in God's arms now. For those still here with us suffering from this, please, please, read this! There is hope<3
"Hate is like acid. It destroys everything it is poured on and damages the vessel in which it is carried" ~ Anonymous
"Embrace the unknown. Do not fear it, for there may be a beautiful lesson in which you can make a difference". ~Danielle
"United we stand. Divided We fall"! ~
A Short Note To Erin~
Erin,
I did not know you but I feel as if I do now, with all of the wonderful things I have read about you. I have had the honor of seeing a few pictures of you that your Brother Adam had posted to his wall and graciously made them public for people to see. I saw a very kind and gentle looking young woman. A beautiful and unique person. I especially enjoyed the picture of you feeding the dog a chicken nugget. Somehow that simple moment in that picture told me you were the type of person that probably would have given the shirt off your back to someone in need if only given the chance. I was told a little about the types of horrible things your fellow peers had done to you in school regularly. Somehow though, through all of that you became an advocate for other kids like yourself. It broke my heart after reading about your involvement with "To Write Love On Her Arms" only to fall victim to the very thing you were trying so hard and lovingly to overcome. Erin, I want you to know that your life and your death was not in vain. There a lot of of people making sure of this. Your life has inspired so many to take a stand and speak loudly in this fight and it has taught so many other's to not stand by quietly while someone is being torn apart because they are not what others expect them to be. I know that I am a better person for having heard your story and making a life long connection with you even though we never formally met. I want to say thank you Erin, for all of the beautiful things your life has and will create from the day forward. You were and still are Special, Beautiful, Kind, Loving, Giving and Unique. You are now in a place where all are loved and are equal, No pain and no longing to fit in. I can only hope that one day when I arrive I will be given the privilege of wrapping my arms around you and saying "Thank You"....
All My Love,
Dani
Please Continue to read:
Randy Age 15
Please Join This Fight For Love:
I am going to share 2 stories with my readers on something very personal and very hard for me to share. It is the story of my very own Son and Brother. Both were bullied though in different settings but bullied just the same. They both attempted suicide, though one didn't succeed and the other did. So please, let what I tell you in your hearts and use them as the fuel needed to combat bullying and teenage suicide.
The Story Of My Brother Randy:
Let me tell you a bit about him in the cliff notes version. Randy was a handsome, sweet, intelligent, loving, kind young man. He could have been anything he wanted. Intelligence was something that came so easily to him. I remember him always taking things apart that had a motor or batteries in it and turning it into something completely different and really cool. He also liked to play with Barbies as a kid. This was frowned upon by our Mother and other's that were supposed love him unconditionally. I, on the other hand, loved the fact that I had a Brother that loved to play Barbies and house with his big sister. I never saw anything wrong with that. I was always so baffled as to why our mother would call him hateful names and slap him around for it. I remember being so sad and angry every time my mother would do this. I didn't see anything wrong with it, I really thought he was just the coolest little Brother ever.
Skip ahead several years:
My mother and Brother moved back home to Delaware where I was raised for a large part of my life when my Mother remarried for the fifth time. Things did not work out between her and her fifth husband (which was no surprise) so she moved back here and moved in with myself and my daughter who was 2 yrs old at the time. My Brother stayed behind and tried to make a go of his life on his own but soon realized he wanted to be back in New York with me. He returned here a few months after our mother. Shortly after his arrival, my mother had met another man and moved in with him. My Brother continued to live with me and helped me with my kids.( Shortly before he moved back here I had given birth to my Son.) During this time, my Brother had opened up to me and told me he was gay. He wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know. Nonetheless, I wrapped my arms around him and told him I loved him no matter what.
I remember the first time he had decided to venture out to the local gay bar in our area. I was so afraid for him that I made him let his big sister walk with him there and make sure he got in OK because there had been a gentleman who was beaten up severely after leaving that bar, not long before my brother had decided to go. There, he had met a wonderful man named Ted. I was staying at my mother's that night for some reason, can't remember why. But, my Brother had stopped by to ask me for the house keys because he had forgotten his. I asked him how it went and he said he had met someone. I remember being so nervous because I didn't know if this guy was truly gay or was he one of these wackos looking to harm my Brother because he was not society's take on the traditional man. My Brother insisted everything was fine, and it was. To make a long story short, my Brother's relationship blossomed so much so he felt the need to come out to our mother. Let's just say, she wasn't at all receptive. She began calling him all sorts of horrible names, told him she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. My Brother left with tears in his eyes and his head hung low. I returned home shortly after giving my mother a thorough tongue lashing to comfort my Brother. We talked for hours, laughing and crying and I truly thought that I had helped him feel better about himself and who God made him to be.
Unfortunately, I was wrong. Months later on October 11, 1995 my Brother had taken an entire bottle of Verapamil. This medication is a cardiac med. The pills were my mother's ironically and the medication that was meant to heal a sick heart did the opposite and exploded the broken heart within my Brother's chest. I am not going to get into detail about the day of his death. Someday, I will write extensively about everything leading up to that day and the day itself. For now, I will say my life has never been the same since October 11, 1995 at 3:11 pm. You see, my Brother was bullied too, though by his own family, it impacted him so much so, he took his life at the young age of 19. So, Mom's, Dad's, Sister's, Brother's, Grandparent's, Aunt's and Uncle's and all other's who matter to these kids, STOP! THINK! with your hearts, before you slam the door in their faces and tare them down with your words. Because, there may not be a tomorrow to take it back and build a loving and understanding everlasting relationship with them, All you'll have left is regret, and a headstone to apologize to.
Phillip Age 16
My Son Phillip
His story is of pain and triumph.
Oh my sweet little man. Everyday I look at him he inspires me. He has to be one of the most, strongest loving people I know. Most of his school career aside from high school was a nightmare. He was bullied daily both physically and verbally. I remember him coming home with tears in his eyes, broken glasses and foot prints on his chest from being cornered in the boys bathroom by hateful peers. You see Phillip was special. He had a learning disability, a lazy eye which requires him to wear glasses and ADHD,and gay Mom's to top it off. Instead of kids looking past these things to see what a wonderful loving kid he was, they used them as weapons against him. They would call him names like, 4 eyed fagot, retard, fat ass, loser. Tell him he was a scumbag, that nobody was ever going to like him. I remember so many times holding this sweet, beautiful child in my arms and trying so desperately to stay strong and not cry with him, while trying to make him believe he was everything but those horrible things. Time passed, I fought with the school district and got no where.
Then one morning, my daughter came barreling down the hallway screaming, "Mommy! I just caught Phillip trying to hang himself on the bunk bed". Again my world came to a halt. All I could think while running down the hall was I can't do this again and praying I would have the strength to help my Son. I entered the room and saw the belt hanging from the top bunk and my precious angel sitting on the floor in tears, looking defeated. He was 10 yrs old. 10! I remember feeling defeated myself and unheard by the school. I immediately scooped him up and held him so tight as if my life depended on it. After sitting and crying with him and rocking back and forth I made some calls to see about him being counseling. The school acted very concerned and talked of making this stop but it did not happen.
After this incident, I had decided from there on out I would be driving him to school everyday because he not only suffered the abuse in school he also endured it on the bus ride home. Every morning I would pull up at the back of Wiley and watch him climb up the stairs to enter those double doors. One day, while watching him walk up the stairs I witnessed his abuse first hand with my own eyes and it became the break we were waiting for.
As Phillip ascended the stairs, and got to the top, I saw a group of boys staring at him and whispering as he climbed the stairs closing in on the top. What happened next sent me flying. As Phillip reached the top one of the boys, who I later found out was one of my Son's regular tormentors, grabs my Son's new hat off his head. My Son was trying to grab it to get it back and the boy brings his fist down punching my Son in the side of the neck! I jumped out of my car and ran up those stairs and grabbed the little punk by the shirt and escorted him all the way to the office. The whole time telling him, "You made a huge mistake, I'm his Mama and I saw the whole thing" ! " You see young man, I don't turn my head to bullies like you, I eat them for breakfast"! I think the young man may have pissed his pants a little because he kept begging me to not take him to the office. I then arrive at the office and not at all in my inside voice proceed to scream with tears streaming down my face! I made a huge scene! They took my Son to one office and the young man to another. Then I stood at the little round table with my chest puffed out and my voice high telling every single adult in that room that something is going to be done today or I am going to the media about how much this school really gives a damn about our children. I then proceeded to remind them of Columbine. My tongue spitting out the cold hard truth of blindness and ignorance causing needless deaths. Needless to say, I WAS HEARD THAT DAY!!! From that day on they took my Son's bullying more seriously because they new if they didn't there was going to be a media frenzy that was going to paint an ugly picture about the truth in our school system. For the first time my Son had hope. He knew he had someone listening and it was no longer falling on deaf ears. That little bit of hope continued slowly, growing into something beautiful, something wonderful.
Phillip 8th Grade
As the years went on, I would have to say they got a little better. 8th grade seemed to be the magic year that things really started to make my Phip's feel like he truly fit in. He became very interested in skateboarding. He skateboarded in all his free time. He practiced and practiced, Ollie's, Kick Flips, Manuals, etc. so he could show them off after school. The other skater's noticed him. Before I knew it, he had tons of friends over to skate and my wife and the boys would be building things for them to do stunts on. The kids were even calling us Big Mom and Lil' Mom like our own do. I cannot explain to you the happiness that flooded my heart as I watched that once lonely, afraid, broken child, now smiling and feeling like he belonged for the first time.
Phillip Now
Phillip is now a Jr. getting ready to go into his Senior year. He is happier than ever and well known in school. I still get a huge cheesy grin on my face when I pick him up and see the guys shaking his hand and saying, "What's up my man? When are we getting together to work on that track"? Because, now Phillip is following his dreams in music producing, and a lot of people love his work. He has come a long way since kindergarten-7th grade. How? Hope and faith! Having someone to fight for him and stopping at nothing to keep him happy and safe.
Be that someone to a kid! Whether you know them or not. BE THEIR HOPE! Putting yourself out there, to protect that one kid can change that kids entire life. I would rather be remembered by students who enter the school after I graduate as the kid who changed one life or several, not the pretty cheerleader or star athlete. Those things are superficial. Standing up and fighting for what's right will prove to be the part of you that will inspire and keep giving back. It will inspire other's to jump off the peer pressure wagon and hop on the wagon of Hope, Love and Kindness.
Parents,
I cannot stress enough how important it is to stay diligent in your kid's lives. Any signs of withdraw or depression dig as deep as you can to find the root of the problem even if it means you have to go into their rooms and search for clues. Don't brush it off as a phase please. If you have overcame an adversity, share it with your child. It could make a huge difference. If your child is being bullied, fight, be loud, create a scene until someone hears you. You are their voices when they can't be heard and no one else will listen.
I hope this blog touches as many peoples hearts as possible and you take something useful from it. It was very hard to type through the tears because the scars still bleed on occasion. I hope that things will start to change from this point on. With that said........
Sending love, strength, voices and hope from my heart to yours....Much Love,Dani
Please Check This site out For Erin: http://www.twloha.com/index.php
Our community and school district are having to face the very real cold hard fact that bullying is real and it kills. On Tuesday, May 15, 2012 a 17 year old girls body was found lifeless, alone in the woods near our local community college. She had chose to take her life because of the unbearable pain of bullying. I am dedicating today's blog to this young lady and all of those who feel like they are only seen as less than zero and feel stifled by the cruelness that surrounds them. This is for you Erin Foley and all that are with you in God's arms now. For those still here with us suffering from this, please, please, read this! There is hope<3
"Hate is like acid. It destroys everything it is poured on and damages the vessel in which it is carried" ~ Anonymous
"Embrace the unknown. Do not fear it, for there may be a beautiful lesson in which you can make a difference". ~Danielle
"United we stand. Divided We fall"! ~
A Short Note To Erin~
Erin,
I did not know you but I feel as if I do now, with all of the wonderful things I have read about you. I have had the honor of seeing a few pictures of you that your Brother Adam had posted to his wall and graciously made them public for people to see. I saw a very kind and gentle looking young woman. A beautiful and unique person. I especially enjoyed the picture of you feeding the dog a chicken nugget. Somehow that simple moment in that picture told me you were the type of person that probably would have given the shirt off your back to someone in need if only given the chance. I was told a little about the types of horrible things your fellow peers had done to you in school regularly. Somehow though, through all of that you became an advocate for other kids like yourself. It broke my heart after reading about your involvement with "To Write Love On Her Arms" only to fall victim to the very thing you were trying so hard and lovingly to overcome. Erin, I want you to know that your life and your death was not in vain. There a lot of of people making sure of this. Your life has inspired so many to take a stand and speak loudly in this fight and it has taught so many other's to not stand by quietly while someone is being torn apart because they are not what others expect them to be. I know that I am a better person for having heard your story and making a life long connection with you even though we never formally met. I want to say thank you Erin, for all of the beautiful things your life has and will create from the day forward. You were and still are Special, Beautiful, Kind, Loving, Giving and Unique. You are now in a place where all are loved and are equal, No pain and no longing to fit in. I can only hope that one day when I arrive I will be given the privilege of wrapping my arms around you and saying "Thank You"....
All My Love,
Dani
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I am going to share 2 stories with my readers on something very personal and very hard for me to share. It is the story of my very own Son and Brother. Both were bullied though in different settings but bullied just the same. They both attempted suicide, though one didn't succeed and the other did. So please, let what I tell you in your hearts and use them as the fuel needed to combat bullying and teenage suicide.
The Story Of My Brother Randy:
Let me tell you a bit about him in the cliff notes version. Randy was a handsome, sweet, intelligent, loving, kind young man. He could have been anything he wanted. Intelligence was something that came so easily to him. I remember him always taking things apart that had a motor or batteries in it and turning it into something completely different and really cool. He also liked to play with Barbies as a kid. This was frowned upon by our Mother and other's that were supposed love him unconditionally. I, on the other hand, loved the fact that I had a Brother that loved to play Barbies and house with his big sister. I never saw anything wrong with that. I was always so baffled as to why our mother would call him hateful names and slap him around for it. I remember being so sad and angry every time my mother would do this. I didn't see anything wrong with it, I really thought he was just the coolest little Brother ever.
Skip ahead several years:
My mother and Brother moved back home to Delaware where I was raised for a large part of my life when my Mother remarried for the fifth time. Things did not work out between her and her fifth husband (which was no surprise) so she moved back here and moved in with myself and my daughter who was 2 yrs old at the time. My Brother stayed behind and tried to make a go of his life on his own but soon realized he wanted to be back in New York with me. He returned here a few months after our mother. Shortly after his arrival, my mother had met another man and moved in with him. My Brother continued to live with me and helped me with my kids.( Shortly before he moved back here I had given birth to my Son.) During this time, my Brother had opened up to me and told me he was gay. He wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know. Nonetheless, I wrapped my arms around him and told him I loved him no matter what.
I remember the first time he had decided to venture out to the local gay bar in our area. I was so afraid for him that I made him let his big sister walk with him there and make sure he got in OK because there had been a gentleman who was beaten up severely after leaving that bar, not long before my brother had decided to go. There, he had met a wonderful man named Ted. I was staying at my mother's that night for some reason, can't remember why. But, my Brother had stopped by to ask me for the house keys because he had forgotten his. I asked him how it went and he said he had met someone. I remember being so nervous because I didn't know if this guy was truly gay or was he one of these wackos looking to harm my Brother because he was not society's take on the traditional man. My Brother insisted everything was fine, and it was. To make a long story short, my Brother's relationship blossomed so much so he felt the need to come out to our mother. Let's just say, she wasn't at all receptive. She began calling him all sorts of horrible names, told him she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. My Brother left with tears in his eyes and his head hung low. I returned home shortly after giving my mother a thorough tongue lashing to comfort my Brother. We talked for hours, laughing and crying and I truly thought that I had helped him feel better about himself and who God made him to be.
Unfortunately, I was wrong. Months later on October 11, 1995 my Brother had taken an entire bottle of Verapamil. This medication is a cardiac med. The pills were my mother's ironically and the medication that was meant to heal a sick heart did the opposite and exploded the broken heart within my Brother's chest. I am not going to get into detail about the day of his death. Someday, I will write extensively about everything leading up to that day and the day itself. For now, I will say my life has never been the same since October 11, 1995 at 3:11 pm. You see, my Brother was bullied too, though by his own family, it impacted him so much so, he took his life at the young age of 19. So, Mom's, Dad's, Sister's, Brother's, Grandparent's, Aunt's and Uncle's and all other's who matter to these kids, STOP! THINK! with your hearts, before you slam the door in their faces and tare them down with your words. Because, there may not be a tomorrow to take it back and build a loving and understanding everlasting relationship with them, All you'll have left is regret, and a headstone to apologize to.
My Son Phillip
His story is of pain and triumph.
Oh my sweet little man. Everyday I look at him he inspires me. He has to be one of the most, strongest loving people I know. Most of his school career aside from high school was a nightmare. He was bullied daily both physically and verbally. I remember him coming home with tears in his eyes, broken glasses and foot prints on his chest from being cornered in the boys bathroom by hateful peers. You see Phillip was special. He had a learning disability, a lazy eye which requires him to wear glasses and ADHD,and gay Mom's to top it off. Instead of kids looking past these things to see what a wonderful loving kid he was, they used them as weapons against him. They would call him names like, 4 eyed fagot, retard, fat ass, loser. Tell him he was a scumbag, that nobody was ever going to like him. I remember so many times holding this sweet, beautiful child in my arms and trying so desperately to stay strong and not cry with him, while trying to make him believe he was everything but those horrible things. Time passed, I fought with the school district and got no where.
Then one morning, my daughter came barreling down the hallway screaming, "Mommy! I just caught Phillip trying to hang himself on the bunk bed". Again my world came to a halt. All I could think while running down the hall was I can't do this again and praying I would have the strength to help my Son. I entered the room and saw the belt hanging from the top bunk and my precious angel sitting on the floor in tears, looking defeated. He was 10 yrs old. 10! I remember feeling defeated myself and unheard by the school. I immediately scooped him up and held him so tight as if my life depended on it. After sitting and crying with him and rocking back and forth I made some calls to see about him being counseling. The school acted very concerned and talked of making this stop but it did not happen.
After this incident, I had decided from there on out I would be driving him to school everyday because he not only suffered the abuse in school he also endured it on the bus ride home. Every morning I would pull up at the back of Wiley and watch him climb up the stairs to enter those double doors. One day, while watching him walk up the stairs I witnessed his abuse first hand with my own eyes and it became the break we were waiting for.
As Phillip ascended the stairs, and got to the top, I saw a group of boys staring at him and whispering as he climbed the stairs closing in on the top. What happened next sent me flying. As Phillip reached the top one of the boys, who I later found out was one of my Son's regular tormentors, grabs my Son's new hat off his head. My Son was trying to grab it to get it back and the boy brings his fist down punching my Son in the side of the neck! I jumped out of my car and ran up those stairs and grabbed the little punk by the shirt and escorted him all the way to the office. The whole time telling him, "You made a huge mistake, I'm his Mama and I saw the whole thing" ! " You see young man, I don't turn my head to bullies like you, I eat them for breakfast"! I think the young man may have pissed his pants a little because he kept begging me to not take him to the office. I then arrive at the office and not at all in my inside voice proceed to scream with tears streaming down my face! I made a huge scene! They took my Son to one office and the young man to another. Then I stood at the little round table with my chest puffed out and my voice high telling every single adult in that room that something is going to be done today or I am going to the media about how much this school really gives a damn about our children. I then proceeded to remind them of Columbine. My tongue spitting out the cold hard truth of blindness and ignorance causing needless deaths. Needless to say, I WAS HEARD THAT DAY!!! From that day on they took my Son's bullying more seriously because they new if they didn't there was going to be a media frenzy that was going to paint an ugly picture about the truth in our school system. For the first time my Son had hope. He knew he had someone listening and it was no longer falling on deaf ears. That little bit of hope continued slowly, growing into something beautiful, something wonderful.
As the years went on, I would have to say they got a little better. 8th grade seemed to be the magic year that things really started to make my Phip's feel like he truly fit in. He became very interested in skateboarding. He skateboarded in all his free time. He practiced and practiced, Ollie's, Kick Flips, Manuals, etc. so he could show them off after school. The other skater's noticed him. Before I knew it, he had tons of friends over to skate and my wife and the boys would be building things for them to do stunts on. The kids were even calling us Big Mom and Lil' Mom like our own do. I cannot explain to you the happiness that flooded my heart as I watched that once lonely, afraid, broken child, now smiling and feeling like he belonged for the first time.
Phillip is now a Jr. getting ready to go into his Senior year. He is happier than ever and well known in school. I still get a huge cheesy grin on my face when I pick him up and see the guys shaking his hand and saying, "What's up my man? When are we getting together to work on that track"? Because, now Phillip is following his dreams in music producing, and a lot of people love his work. He has come a long way since kindergarten-7th grade. How? Hope and faith! Having someone to fight for him and stopping at nothing to keep him happy and safe.
Be that someone to a kid! Whether you know them or not. BE THEIR HOPE! Putting yourself out there, to protect that one kid can change that kids entire life. I would rather be remembered by students who enter the school after I graduate as the kid who changed one life or several, not the pretty cheerleader or star athlete. Those things are superficial. Standing up and fighting for what's right will prove to be the part of you that will inspire and keep giving back. It will inspire other's to jump off the peer pressure wagon and hop on the wagon of Hope, Love and Kindness.
Parents,
I cannot stress enough how important it is to stay diligent in your kid's lives. Any signs of withdraw or depression dig as deep as you can to find the root of the problem even if it means you have to go into their rooms and search for clues. Don't brush it off as a phase please. If you have overcame an adversity, share it with your child. It could make a huge difference. If your child is being bullied, fight, be loud, create a scene until someone hears you. You are their voices when they can't be heard and no one else will listen.
I hope this blog touches as many peoples hearts as possible and you take something useful from it. It was very hard to type through the tears because the scars still bleed on occasion. I hope that things will start to change from this point on. With that said........
Sending love, strength, voices and hope from my heart to yours....Much Love,Dani
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
What Inspires you? Stop Complaining and Find Something!
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So this morning I find myself feeling a little uninspired, so, I decided to go read some current events. I know, current events? For inspiration? Sounds a little far fetched i know, with all of the negative press out there right now with the world falling apart at the seams. Believe it or not reading a few stories that were less than heartwarming, it truly made me think with my heart and not with the mind. It is my opinion, when, one only allow themselves to think with their mind, you limit yourself to a world of possibilities. Thinking with our hearts is more often than not, thought of as impractical. Thinking with our minds is the key to solving all of life's problems. Well, I challenge you to challenge that.
So many times I read or hear with my ears someone writing on paper or saying verbally, I am ugly, my life sucks, I cheated on my spouse/significant other because they don't give me what I need, I wish I had a better house/apartment, I am too fat, I am sick of having to walk to work, I am sick of working, my kids are getting on my nerves, I hate my sister/brother, I wish I had a better car, the list goes on........
Number 1:
I am sorry that you feel as if you are ugly. Could it perhaps be that you are so blinded by your feelings, that you allow it to dictate all that you do? Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Being beautiful on the outside DOES NOT define the word beauty itself! Beauty has many different meanings. I personally love it when it is conveyed from one's most inner, deepest, sincerest expression. From one's true self. I understand that it is taught to us by those who surround us that beauty is " blemish free skin, big tits, great hair and a size 3". This couldn't be any further from the truth!!! Beauty is finding and returning love, whether you love yourself or someone else. It's getting up everyday rain or shine and truly appreciating the fact you have lived to see another day. It's finding hope when you feel there is none left to have. It's sticking your hand out to lift someone when they have fallen from grace. It's inside of all of us, if we just reach down in and pull it out. So next time you are in front of a mirror for the purpose of taring yourself down, don't look. Close your eyes reach down inside yourself and say out loud, "I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am wonderful despite how I feel about my shell." After all, remember, when it is time for us to leave this superficial place and move on, it's our "SELVES" our "SOUL" that moves with us. Why? Because, that's who we are. Our bodies do not make us the person.
Number 2:
Your life sucks? Well, be happy you have one! Get up off your butt and do something about it. Remember, life is what "YOU" make of it not others. There are so many people out there who have been dealt nothing but grief, hardships and inexplicable pain, yet they push forward everyday thankful for the smallest things and find it within themselves to inspire others and give hope. So, bottom line, stop wasting your time and the others that surround you and suck it up buttercup because you have no one to blame but yourself!
Number 3:
Cheating is the answer to your relationship problems? Really? Your partner not giving you what you need justifies the fact that you are laying down with someone else? NOPE! There is no justification for such things. This one really chaps my rear end! I have heard so many people carry on about how horrible their partner is, yet they stay and do not leave. Instead they have their little love slave on the side. To me these people are cowardice and pukes! It's selfish, anyway you deal it. To me, it screams, "I am a greedy person"! "I am incapable of practicing honesty and love." "I cannot entertain commitment, nor do I even remotely know the definition." I am probably going to piss some people off with this next part but those who know me, know I speak my mind! Military spouses, not all, really, really piss me off on this subject. You sit up here and talk about the other military spouses who have cheated while their spouse is deployed, then the minute your spouse deploys, off you go on the prowl. Your partner is in harms way fighting with their lives so you can have that freedom of choice to cheat and not be stoned for it and you repay him/her by hopping into someone Else's bed? Remember, next time you get under the sheets with someone else that there is a million other's like you and there is a reason why you are judged and categorized. Come on people, do the right thing. If you are not happy, show some respect to the other person and yourself and get out of the relationship before you cause something irreversible.
Number 4:
I wish I had a better apartment/house. Are you kidding me? Um, how about you being thankful for having a place you can call yours to lay your head down at night? There are so many people out there that are without that luxury. Yes! LUXURY!!!!! As the days pass, it is becoming more and more apparent that having a home rented/owned is in fact a luxury not a basic necessity. With companies closing and the job market declining and basic needs sky rocketing it is becoming more and more difficult to obtain a home. People who have worked hard all of their lives have lost everything and all you can complain about is the fact you don't live in a Soho loft style apartment or a Bel Air stupidly large home? Remind me to stay clear of you because that tells me you are a bit superficial. My home is not "Better Homes and Gardens Magazine" worthy, but you bet your last breath I am thankful for it everyday and it "INSPIRES" me to be thankful for what I have!
Number 5:
The ever so popular, I'M FAT!( Now this does not apply to people with a serious medical problem that is causing a weight problem.) Well, put the damn fork down and do something about it! I am one of those people who has some excess junk in the trunk and under the hood. I'm choosing to do something about it instead of bitching about it. I am choosing to make healthier food choices and becoming more active. I am not going to the gym, but I am doing things that require me to be somewhere other than the couch flicking through channels while eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's Caramel Sutra ice cream! Take a step back and ask yourself why am I eating too much? The answer is probably going to be that you are self medicating. I know that's what my problem was. I was going through a tough year with some family issues and I found a lot of comfort in food. Did it solve my problems? No! Not at all! If anything it created more. I grew out of my clothes and it sent me into a downward spiral of low self esteem which in turn, I became a blackout drunk on the weekends. Substance is never the answer to your problems. Admitting to yourself that there's a problem and doing the hard work to fix it is where one's happiness and redemption lies.
Number 6:
I am sick of having to walk to work! You jackass! How about you being thankful that you have 2 working viable legs to walk to work on? How many of our soldiers come home from work with their legs gone and or paralyzed? How about that teenage girl, the star cheerleader with a shot at a $40,000 scholarship in the wheelchair, depraved of it because a drunk idiot chose to get behind the wheel? How about that little boy that was born without even getting to walk one step because he was born with a debilitating disease? Are you kidding me? Again, stay away from me, you are superficial and uninspiring.
Number 7:
I am sick of working! Well, move aside and give your job to John and Jane Doe they want nothing more than to have a job so they can provide for their family but every job they have applied for won't give them a shot because they don't have an address or they just are not hiring because business is slow. Get a grip! That job is keeping you afloat. You may not be eating steaks and lobster, but you're eating. Jane and John are an inspiration and have left an everlasting mark and not a human stain like the unthankful.
Number 8:
My kids are getting on my nerves! I know, I know, this doesn't seem so horrible to say. However, if you really stop and think about it, it kinda is. This morning when I was reading the current events I came across a sad video. It was comprised of these mother's clinging to neatly folded American flags at their Child's graveside. These of course are the Mother's of fallen Soldiers. This struck a cord in me. Mother's day is around the corner and these Mom's will be wishing they could go back just one more time and relive that moment their little one came running through the door covered in mud tracking it all over her freshly mopped floor. A messy bedroom, picking up that loaf of bread, lunch meat and mayonnaise. Stepping on the matchbox car that her little man left on the floor, Cleaning little Emily's face because she got into every last drop of Mommies makeup. She would give anything to tuck them in safely at the end of a crazy day and hear, "Mommy, I love you". So, my point is, things can be scrubbed, vacuumed, put away, but wasting your time with your babies complaining all the time cannot be given back. You never know what tomorrow brings, let that moment be what it is and don't let it take away from the rest of the precious minutes you have with your little one's.
Number 9:
I hate my Bother/Sister! Your siblings can be the best friends you will ever have. Don't dwell in the small stuff, trust me, it is not worth it! I would give my legs and arms if I could have my Baby Brother here with me. He passed away at the young age of 19. He was my everything. He was tall, handsome, so very smart, kind, loving and had so much to give. Unfortunately, life proved to be more than he could handle so he committed suicide. This was the hardest thing I have ever had to cope with in my life and I have been through some pretty horrible things. Anyway, my point being, don't sweat the small stuff, Appreciate and value each other's differences. Never let jealousy rear its ugly face. Praise each other when you accomplish something. Lend a hand when either of you need to pick up the pieces of mistakes made. Forgive, when forgiveness strengthens the bond of your relationship. Nurture, each others dreams. Be their biggest fan and tell them you love them even when you're mad as hell. They could be gone in a flash and you don't want to look back and say..."I wish I would have".......
NUMBER 10 :
I wish I had a better car! Hello, MORON! Is it getting you from point A to point B? Um, shut up then, because you could be like ^Number 6 who complains about having to walk to work because he/she has no car and doesn't appreciate the fact they have 2 viable working legs. Embrace what you have, because it's more than what other's have!!!!
Some of you may find this to be less than desirable and I am OK with that. What I was actually shooting for was for people to be inspired. Find the positive in what you believe to be negative. With all of the above said.......
Sending inspiration and positivity and realness, from my heart and soul to yours....Much Love Dani
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So this morning I find myself feeling a little uninspired, so, I decided to go read some current events. I know, current events? For inspiration? Sounds a little far fetched i know, with all of the negative press out there right now with the world falling apart at the seams. Believe it or not reading a few stories that were less than heartwarming, it truly made me think with my heart and not with the mind. It is my opinion, when, one only allow themselves to think with their mind, you limit yourself to a world of possibilities. Thinking with our hearts is more often than not, thought of as impractical. Thinking with our minds is the key to solving all of life's problems. Well, I challenge you to challenge that.
So many times I read or hear with my ears someone writing on paper or saying verbally, I am ugly, my life sucks, I cheated on my spouse/significant other because they don't give me what I need, I wish I had a better house/apartment, I am too fat, I am sick of having to walk to work, I am sick of working, my kids are getting on my nerves, I hate my sister/brother, I wish I had a better car, the list goes on........
Number 1:
I am sorry that you feel as if you are ugly. Could it perhaps be that you are so blinded by your feelings, that you allow it to dictate all that you do? Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Being beautiful on the outside DOES NOT define the word beauty itself! Beauty has many different meanings. I personally love it when it is conveyed from one's most inner, deepest, sincerest expression. From one's true self. I understand that it is taught to us by those who surround us that beauty is " blemish free skin, big tits, great hair and a size 3". This couldn't be any further from the truth!!! Beauty is finding and returning love, whether you love yourself or someone else. It's getting up everyday rain or shine and truly appreciating the fact you have lived to see another day. It's finding hope when you feel there is none left to have. It's sticking your hand out to lift someone when they have fallen from grace. It's inside of all of us, if we just reach down in and pull it out. So next time you are in front of a mirror for the purpose of taring yourself down, don't look. Close your eyes reach down inside yourself and say out loud, "I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am wonderful despite how I feel about my shell." After all, remember, when it is time for us to leave this superficial place and move on, it's our "SELVES" our "SOUL" that moves with us. Why? Because, that's who we are. Our bodies do not make us the person.
Number 2:
Your life sucks? Well, be happy you have one! Get up off your butt and do something about it. Remember, life is what "YOU" make of it not others. There are so many people out there who have been dealt nothing but grief, hardships and inexplicable pain, yet they push forward everyday thankful for the smallest things and find it within themselves to inspire others and give hope. So, bottom line, stop wasting your time and the others that surround you and suck it up buttercup because you have no one to blame but yourself!
Number 3:
Cheating is the answer to your relationship problems? Really? Your partner not giving you what you need justifies the fact that you are laying down with someone else? NOPE! There is no justification for such things. This one really chaps my rear end! I have heard so many people carry on about how horrible their partner is, yet they stay and do not leave. Instead they have their little love slave on the side. To me these people are cowardice and pukes! It's selfish, anyway you deal it. To me, it screams, "I am a greedy person"! "I am incapable of practicing honesty and love." "I cannot entertain commitment, nor do I even remotely know the definition." I am probably going to piss some people off with this next part but those who know me, know I speak my mind! Military spouses, not all, really, really piss me off on this subject. You sit up here and talk about the other military spouses who have cheated while their spouse is deployed, then the minute your spouse deploys, off you go on the prowl. Your partner is in harms way fighting with their lives so you can have that freedom of choice to cheat and not be stoned for it and you repay him/her by hopping into someone Else's bed? Remember, next time you get under the sheets with someone else that there is a million other's like you and there is a reason why you are judged and categorized. Come on people, do the right thing. If you are not happy, show some respect to the other person and yourself and get out of the relationship before you cause something irreversible.
Number 4:
I wish I had a better apartment/house. Are you kidding me? Um, how about you being thankful for having a place you can call yours to lay your head down at night? There are so many people out there that are without that luxury. Yes! LUXURY!!!!! As the days pass, it is becoming more and more apparent that having a home rented/owned is in fact a luxury not a basic necessity. With companies closing and the job market declining and basic needs sky rocketing it is becoming more and more difficult to obtain a home. People who have worked hard all of their lives have lost everything and all you can complain about is the fact you don't live in a Soho loft style apartment or a Bel Air stupidly large home? Remind me to stay clear of you because that tells me you are a bit superficial. My home is not "Better Homes and Gardens Magazine" worthy, but you bet your last breath I am thankful for it everyday and it "INSPIRES" me to be thankful for what I have!
Number 5:
The ever so popular, I'M FAT!( Now this does not apply to people with a serious medical problem that is causing a weight problem.) Well, put the damn fork down and do something about it! I am one of those people who has some excess junk in the trunk and under the hood. I'm choosing to do something about it instead of bitching about it. I am choosing to make healthier food choices and becoming more active. I am not going to the gym, but I am doing things that require me to be somewhere other than the couch flicking through channels while eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's Caramel Sutra ice cream! Take a step back and ask yourself why am I eating too much? The answer is probably going to be that you are self medicating. I know that's what my problem was. I was going through a tough year with some family issues and I found a lot of comfort in food. Did it solve my problems? No! Not at all! If anything it created more. I grew out of my clothes and it sent me into a downward spiral of low self esteem which in turn, I became a blackout drunk on the weekends. Substance is never the answer to your problems. Admitting to yourself that there's a problem and doing the hard work to fix it is where one's happiness and redemption lies.
Number 6:
I am sick of having to walk to work! You jackass! How about you being thankful that you have 2 working viable legs to walk to work on? How many of our soldiers come home from work with their legs gone and or paralyzed? How about that teenage girl, the star cheerleader with a shot at a $40,000 scholarship in the wheelchair, depraved of it because a drunk idiot chose to get behind the wheel? How about that little boy that was born without even getting to walk one step because he was born with a debilitating disease? Are you kidding me? Again, stay away from me, you are superficial and uninspiring.
Number 7:
I am sick of working! Well, move aside and give your job to John and Jane Doe they want nothing more than to have a job so they can provide for their family but every job they have applied for won't give them a shot because they don't have an address or they just are not hiring because business is slow. Get a grip! That job is keeping you afloat. You may not be eating steaks and lobster, but you're eating. Jane and John are an inspiration and have left an everlasting mark and not a human stain like the unthankful.
Number 8:
My kids are getting on my nerves! I know, I know, this doesn't seem so horrible to say. However, if you really stop and think about it, it kinda is. This morning when I was reading the current events I came across a sad video. It was comprised of these mother's clinging to neatly folded American flags at their Child's graveside. These of course are the Mother's of fallen Soldiers. This struck a cord in me. Mother's day is around the corner and these Mom's will be wishing they could go back just one more time and relive that moment their little one came running through the door covered in mud tracking it all over her freshly mopped floor. A messy bedroom, picking up that loaf of bread, lunch meat and mayonnaise. Stepping on the matchbox car that her little man left on the floor, Cleaning little Emily's face because she got into every last drop of Mommies makeup. She would give anything to tuck them in safely at the end of a crazy day and hear, "Mommy, I love you". So, my point is, things can be scrubbed, vacuumed, put away, but wasting your time with your babies complaining all the time cannot be given back. You never know what tomorrow brings, let that moment be what it is and don't let it take away from the rest of the precious minutes you have with your little one's.
Number 9:
I hate my Bother/Sister! Your siblings can be the best friends you will ever have. Don't dwell in the small stuff, trust me, it is not worth it! I would give my legs and arms if I could have my Baby Brother here with me. He passed away at the young age of 19. He was my everything. He was tall, handsome, so very smart, kind, loving and had so much to give. Unfortunately, life proved to be more than he could handle so he committed suicide. This was the hardest thing I have ever had to cope with in my life and I have been through some pretty horrible things. Anyway, my point being, don't sweat the small stuff, Appreciate and value each other's differences. Never let jealousy rear its ugly face. Praise each other when you accomplish something. Lend a hand when either of you need to pick up the pieces of mistakes made. Forgive, when forgiveness strengthens the bond of your relationship. Nurture, each others dreams. Be their biggest fan and tell them you love them even when you're mad as hell. They could be gone in a flash and you don't want to look back and say..."I wish I would have".......
NUMBER 10 :
I wish I had a better car! Hello, MORON! Is it getting you from point A to point B? Um, shut up then, because you could be like ^Number 6 who complains about having to walk to work because he/she has no car and doesn't appreciate the fact they have 2 viable working legs. Embrace what you have, because it's more than what other's have!!!!
Some of you may find this to be less than desirable and I am OK with that. What I was actually shooting for was for people to be inspired. Find the positive in what you believe to be negative. With all of the above said.......
Sending inspiration and positivity and realness, from my heart and soul to yours....Much Love Dani
Monday, May 7, 2012
Makeup for Men! Yes! For men! Featuring GossMakeupArtist Tutorials!
Quick! Click The Remote: http://www.youtube.com/user/shorty4u262002
Come Hang Out With Me : https://www.facebook.com/MakeUpItMatters
Here are some great tips for the gentlemen out there looking to try to perfect their skin for a special event or just for your daily routine. Firstly, make sure you start with a fresh clean face. Then moisturize! Yes men, it is important for you to moisturize your face too. Be sure that the moisturizer you choose is loaded with skin protecting power. SPF of 15 or higher is the magic number.
WHAT DO YOU NEED?
1: Foundation
Secondly, it is important that you determine your skin tone. Meaning, are you, Light? Medium? Tan? Then you must determine which method you feel most comfortable using. Now there are a few. You can choose to use a foundation, which is applied to the entire face and neck.This can be a tad intimidating. If you really have no clue about the proper application, there is a very informative male makeup artist on Youtube that can give you a quick how to 101 on proper foundation application among other really great tips. He's very to the point, no extra rambling, so he is ideal for the no muss, no fuss viewer. Now get yourself some foundation. I suggest L'oreal True Match. You can find this anywhere. Walmart, drugstores and Ulta. It's very practical and has an excellent array of colors. The colors are separated into 3 categories: Warm, Cool and Neutral. On the bottles cap you will find a number it may look something like this: W7, C7 or N7. The W, is warm. The C is cool and the N is neutral. The best way I can explain how to determine whether you are a Warm, Cool or Neutral is to just swatch them. Getting into pink, yellow and red undertones can be a bit confusing. Another great and quick way to find out your skin tone is to go to the mall at some place like Macy's or a Sephora or Ulta. The ladies at the makeup counters will match the foundation for you. The only downside to this is you are going to be paying a pretty penny for the product you choose. I am going to let the ABOVE VIDEO video by GossMakeupArtist explain how to apply. I find it is better to have a visual for beginners. Foundation is really going to help conceal many problem areas. A flawless appearance. You can also use a mineral foundation. This is extremely simple to use. You can find this in Walmart and drugstores as well. Here is video number 2, an EXCELLENT very fast and simple tutorial from GossMakeupArtist again, using the mineral foundation as well as blush, bronzer, eyeliner and a really cool method if you have some stubble.
2: Tinted Moisturizer
Tinted moisturizer is an excellent way to even out your skin tone. There are many great inexpensive brands out there with an array of colors. This is going to be a light coverage. Pretty fool proof as well. This too is applied to the entire face. I find that this is a more appealing method for men. Foundation can tend to feel a bit heavy and requires a bit of maintenance where as to this doesn't.The blending is very quick and simple with a tinted moisturizer. Simply apply with fingers or brush (brushes mentioned in the above video) all over your face. There are other steps that can be combined with this or the foundation to achieve a flawless finish.
3: Concealer
Concealing can be used on its own or in combination of the 3 above mentioned methods. Now, if you choose to use concealer and a foundation or tinted moisturizer I suggest applying your foundation or tinted moisturizer first then apply concealer to your trouble areas. Meaning, blemishes, dark circles, sun and age spots etc. Applying concealer after, will insure that it doesn't slide off the face. For long lasting results you will need to purchase a translucent powder. The translucent powder will set both the foundation/tinted moisturizer and concealer. You need to match the concealer to your skin tone as well.
4: Have oily skin? Use a Silica based TRANSLUCENT POWDER
Silica based powders are excellent for those who have oily skin. It does a great job of keeping excess shine at bay. Now, this is important. When you are shopping for a translucent powder make sure that it is a MATT FINISH. Some of these powders contain shimmer and glitter on a guys face is not what we are shooting for unless you are into that sort of thing. My suggestion for a great powder is ELF HD Powder, A little goes a long way. This is about $6 at Target or on their websitehttp://www.eyeslipsface.com/studio/face/powder/high_definition_powder Yes the powder is white, DO NOT be alarmed. When applied sparingly it is wonderful. You will not look like a ghost. What it is going to do is give an airbrushed appearance and tame those unwanted oils! The best way I find to apply, is to tap a small amount into the cap and swirl your brush around in it. Tap off any excess and lightly buff all over face with a large fluffy brush. See above brush photo.
5: BRONZER
Bronzer's are a great way to warm up your skin tone. When purchasing a bronzer this too needs to be a MATT FINISH. These too come with shimmer in them. I suggest using a powder bronzer and forgoing the cream or foam variant. I just think it is a less complicated way to achieve that healthy beach glow. When using this apply again with a large fluffy brush, starting at the hairline at the hollow of the cheeks curving it down towards the chin. Where are the hollows of your cheeks? Here's how to locate them. Make a fishy face. Where your cheeks suck in should be right below the cheekbone. This is where you apply the bronzer. Now apply a bit to the temples and top of the forehead near the hairline. Now apply to the jawbone area. You can also apply to the sides of nose to create a shadow that will make the nose appear slimmer. Be sure to blend well where all bronzer is applied. Using this method is called contouring. It is going to give the face a more masculine chiseled appearance. I am going to post another excellent video below by GossMakeupArtist that gives you a step by step on men's makeup.
6: Lip Balm
Apply your favorite lip balm! This is just a step to make sure your lips always appear healthy and not cracked or dried out. If you're going to go to all the trouble to make your face appear flawless it only makes perfect sense that your lips look great too.
7: Man liner
This is one of those steps you can choose to do or omit all together. Most men who sport this always use a black liner. All you do is apply it to the top inner rim of the eye. This is going to give your lashes a fuller affect. You can also apply to your lower inner rims. This isfor those who want an edgier look! I suggest getting something that is water proof because if it's not it is going to smear and become very messy looking.
7: SIMPLICITY
Now if you do not want to get into contouring or highlighting and you just want an easy quick and simple way. Just apply a tinted moisturizer or mineral foundation, conceal any problem areas and apply the translucent powder and some lip balm and off you go! I hope this blog was very informative to my guys out there that may want to look their best at a special event or just daily!
Here's to fab chiseled man makeup and lots of people ogling your goodies! From my Vanity to your bathroom mirror...Much love Dani
Come Hang Out With Me : https://www.facebook.com/MakeUpItMatters
Here are some great tips for the gentlemen out there looking to try to perfect their skin for a special event or just for your daily routine. Firstly, make sure you start with a fresh clean face. Then moisturize! Yes men, it is important for you to moisturize your face too. Be sure that the moisturizer you choose is loaded with skin protecting power. SPF of 15 or higher is the magic number.
WHAT DO YOU NEED?
1: Foundation
2: Tinted Moisturizer
Tinted moisturizer is an excellent way to even out your skin tone. There are many great inexpensive brands out there with an array of colors. This is going to be a light coverage. Pretty fool proof as well. This too is applied to the entire face. I find that this is a more appealing method for men. Foundation can tend to feel a bit heavy and requires a bit of maintenance where as to this doesn't.The blending is very quick and simple with a tinted moisturizer. Simply apply with fingers or brush (brushes mentioned in the above video) all over your face. There are other steps that can be combined with this or the foundation to achieve a flawless finish.
3: Concealer
Concealing can be used on its own or in combination of the 3 above mentioned methods. Now, if you choose to use concealer and a foundation or tinted moisturizer I suggest applying your foundation or tinted moisturizer first then apply concealer to your trouble areas. Meaning, blemishes, dark circles, sun and age spots etc. Applying concealer after, will insure that it doesn't slide off the face. For long lasting results you will need to purchase a translucent powder. The translucent powder will set both the foundation/tinted moisturizer and concealer. You need to match the concealer to your skin tone as well.
4: Have oily skin? Use a Silica based TRANSLUCENT POWDER
5: BRONZER
Bronzer's are a great way to warm up your skin tone. When purchasing a bronzer this too needs to be a MATT FINISH. These too come with shimmer in them. I suggest using a powder bronzer and forgoing the cream or foam variant. I just think it is a less complicated way to achieve that healthy beach glow. When using this apply again with a large fluffy brush, starting at the hairline at the hollow of the cheeks curving it down towards the chin. Where are the hollows of your cheeks? Here's how to locate them. Make a fishy face. Where your cheeks suck in should be right below the cheekbone. This is where you apply the bronzer. Now apply a bit to the temples and top of the forehead near the hairline. Now apply to the jawbone area. You can also apply to the sides of nose to create a shadow that will make the nose appear slimmer. Be sure to blend well where all bronzer is applied. Using this method is called contouring. It is going to give the face a more masculine chiseled appearance. I am going to post another excellent video below by GossMakeupArtist that gives you a step by step on men's makeup.
6: Lip Balm
Apply your favorite lip balm! This is just a step to make sure your lips always appear healthy and not cracked or dried out. If you're going to go to all the trouble to make your face appear flawless it only makes perfect sense that your lips look great too.
7: Man liner
This is one of those steps you can choose to do or omit all together. Most men who sport this always use a black liner. All you do is apply it to the top inner rim of the eye. This is going to give your lashes a fuller affect. You can also apply to your lower inner rims. This isfor those who want an edgier look! I suggest getting something that is water proof because if it's not it is going to smear and become very messy looking.
7: SIMPLICITY
Now if you do not want to get into contouring or highlighting and you just want an easy quick and simple way. Just apply a tinted moisturizer or mineral foundation, conceal any problem areas and apply the translucent powder and some lip balm and off you go! I hope this blog was very informative to my guys out there that may want to look their best at a special event or just daily!
Here's to fab chiseled man makeup and lots of people ogling your goodies! From my Vanity to your bathroom mirror...Much love Dani
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